Sunday, August 31, 2008

Pre Or Post?

A recent comment from a girl I know stated that pre-deployment is a pretty awful time. The anticipation, the waiting of the inevitable, preparing for the active duty spouse to be gone while they're still here, and so on and so forth. For Ryan and I, pre-deployment really isn't so bad. I always get a little overly sensitive, and because of this, everything is dramatic and enhanced ten fold, but other than that it's really no big deal. Post-deployment however is a bit more tricky. Ryan's been gone for 1/2 a year, I have new routines, new viewpoints on things, and have become more independent. Within those 6 months with him being elsewhere I have overcome work issues, home issues, pet issues, and friends and family issues without him. I'm used to a certain routine, which includes handling myself and only myself. Ryan comes home and has to not only adjust to life on land at home again, but me and the pets and our new routines. He has to find his place again. Don't get me wrong, I certainly don't fight him on this, this is just something that comes with the territory of being gone for so long. The first few days are hunky dory, then the bickering starts. We basically learn to live with each other all over again. After a couple weeks everything is fine again, but for US, post-deployment is a little rough.

Whether you and your spouse have a more difficult time with pre or post-deployment, I think perhaps is a couple thing. Each person is different and handles things differently, emotions are different, situations are different. But I wonder, do more couples have a hard time during pre or post-deployment? Or perhaps the majority of couples have a harder time during deployment. I honestly have no idea. It makes me wonder what measures can be taken to avoid the pre or post-deployment blues. Could you just not think of the upcoming deployment and just spend as much time as you can with your soon-to-be deployed sailor? Could you try not to change while they're gone. I know that I could not just turn my mind off to the upcoming deployment, I would certainly spend as much time with Ryan as possible, but I am a planner and simply turning my mind off to a major event isn't going to happen. I can try, but it will be with little success. I feel that change in a person, during a deployment is inevitable. Both people become more independent. Views and perceptions can change while the couple is together, who's to say they won't change while apart? People grow whether they are with their significant other or not, I guess the best way to overcome that is to roll with the punches. Lucky for us, neither one of us have changed TOO drastically in the 2 deployments we have done. Views have changed, perceptions have changed, personalities have changed, some changes we've sailed through, others we fumbled a bit. When it comes to pre-deployment, Ryan pretty much just puts up with my over-sensitivity and occasionally he'll tell me when I'm getting carried away. I stop, apologize and try to keep it down a notch, with about a 50% success rate.

SD

Monday, August 25, 2008

Pre-deployment

After finding out that there's about a 2.5% chance that Ryan will be getting out of the Navy on his higher tenure date, I have been preparing for the upcoming deployment. Emergency contacts in place, make sure certain people have keys to my house, make sure insurances are in place, ect., ect. Besides being a tad overly sensitive, emotionally speaking I'm ok.

Our first deployment was the hardest, Ryan said "I'll be back in a couple weeks", SURPRISE, "babe, there's a lot going on, I can't explain, I won't be home for 5 months." That was when Bush first sent troops to Iraq. I was living with my parents and I just busied myself with college and wedding plans, but I was so lost and confused and had no idea what was going on, I had all these questions and had no idea who to ask. The 2nd deployment I buried myself in career stuff and kept plugged into the FRG, but I had all these emotions, I don't think I gave myself enough alone time. I didn't really give myself time to think or feel, I was intent on making the 2nd deployment fly by as quickly as possible, especially since he was going to be missing every major holiday. When Ryan came home from the 2nd deployment, I had no idea how exhausted I was, I slept for 14 hours straight! "Welcome home babe", *snore*.

I have a lot going on this deployment too, I'm finishing my bachelor's, working full time, taking part of the FRG, and other random things. But I'm going to give myself time to relax too, time to breath. I set a list of goals like I always do but instead of it being 2 pages long, it's only 1/2 a page.

My friend Alison just called and said that the deployment was pushed up, I hang up the phone and it hits me, deployment is here. You know how you know something is coming, it's in the back of your mind and even though you're preparing for it, you still can't quite grasp it, then all the sudden it hits you like a ton of bricks? Well that's me right now. Eh, we'll be fine, like I said this will be our 3rd and you learn more about yourself and your significant other each time, and you grow from that, you find things that work and you find things that you should try differently next time. But just because you've done these before doesn't mean they're any easier than the first one. Each one is just....different. And I think that depends on how to deal with it yourself. Now I know who to go to when I want questions answered, lol doesn't mean they WILL be answered. And I know to give myself time for me and that I shouldn't fight my emotions so much. Emotions are ok, you just have to be aware of how you act on them. Anyways, sounds like I'm approaching a soap box here, so I'm gonna make a left and recap. Deployment, here and now, stay busy, but not too busy, get involved in your military community, emotions are ok.

SD

Friday, August 22, 2008

Happy Friday

Everyone wishes everyone else a "Happy Friday" here at the office, the weekend is here, everyone has 2 days off, blah blah blah. WELL, today is truly a HAPPY Friday. Last week, my boss sent me an email asking me to please look into a dealers account, they are disputing a very large amount of money. This dealer has 4 company wide accounts, locals, TOL, and co-op. Yes I know, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about, just know that each account is billed differently and in a different computer system by a completely different department, which makes doing an audit extremely difficult and time consuming. My boss needed this taken care of like 2 weeks ago, so this is top priotiry, and is coming from the top. For those of you that don't know me very well, I am extremely competitive, set over the top goals for myself, and nothing but excellence goes into my job, because for me it's all about climbing the corporate ladder, and being the best of the best. I see this audit project as a challenge, after days of gleaning files for back-up paperwork, shifting through boxes of cobwebby files, burning out 2 highlighters and going through 2 packs of sticky notes, I complete the audit. It's glorious, and I saved the company LARGE dollar signs. I give myself a gold star for the day. I get the thumbs up from my boss and call it a day. Yesterday I met with the big wig sales people on this account. I.....don't care for our sales reps for multiple reasons, and I get super nervous around them. So I go into the meeting, palms itching, I'm shaking, I can feel the face turning red, it's not pretty. I go in, talk, get out. Thumbs up from the boss again. Today I finished the audit report, and I'm stressing big time because the sales team still has to go to the customer and tell them, "No we don't owe you this much and this is why." My boss and I took the report to her boss, he looked shocked. So here I am thinking, "Oh god, what did I miss, crap, maybe I should have looked over it one more time, maybe one of the numbers is wrong, I probably just made a complete FOOL of myself. Maybe if I slowly sneak out of the room he won't notice, I can pack my desk and be gone faster than a speeding bullet!" He looks at me and says, "A LOT of work went into this, GREAT job. It looks fantastic." I stop wincing and stand up straight, "Oh, thanks. A lot of work did go into that. Thank you very much." A and I leave P's office and she grins at me. Today is an excellent day.

SD

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Dennis The Menace In Dog Form

Our Rhodesian Rigdeback, Thor, has some behavior problems. We've done Petsmart training, we've taken training ideas from friends, the internet, books, and finally we called Bark Busters. Bark Busters is the largest dog training company in the world, their people are trained dog behaviorists and trainers and we paid a pretty penny but it has helped TREMENDOUSLY. It's been 3 months and we've seen a big difference in Thor. Right now he's at that age where he's in between the puppy and adult stages, and constantly seeking dominance. He only tests Ryan when he's been gone awhile and then comes back home, but he's constantly testing me, it's exhausitng trying to keep my mind set to that of a pack leader. I find myself at work getting upset and wanting to growl at my co-workers! I refrain from this of course but the thought of a choke collar around a certain someone's neck does pop in my mind. One of the things that we struggle the most with Thor is going for a walk. Thor's idea of a walk is me yelling his name and profanities, while he's gagging and choking trying to pull me like I'm skiing on water. We've FINALLY gotten to the point where he walks by our side but we have to continue to keep him in check. Yesterday I decided to leave Orion (our Golden Retriever) home and take Thor, just he and I. It started out great, I was so impressed! We get about 1/2 way through and we came to a fence with a little black dog in the yard, the little black dog starts barking. Apparently in doggie world the little black dog was saying, "Hey come jump the fence and play with me!", because that's exactly what Thor tried to do, with me still hanging on to the other end. After about 10 minutes of tugging, yelling, growling and jumping, I was finally able to get a good enough grip on his collar and wrestle him to the ground. (Keep in mind I weigh about 115-120 and I'm pretty sure that most of that is water, blood and bone. Thor weighs close to 90 and is nothing but muscle.) A young man walks by to see us laying on the pavement, I have Thor in a scissor lock and a head lock, we're both huffing and puffing and I'm growling through my teeth, I can only imagine what was going through his mind. I look up, "Hey how's it going?" He looks at the mess of me and Thor, and says "Uuhh...good" and quickens his pace. Tripping over Thor's legs and my own we stumble to our feet and I drag Thor away from the yapping little black dog. We trudge back to the house me muttering under my breath. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Thor looking at me out of the corner of his eye. We're walking up the path back to the house and up ahead I can see a little old man, a little old woman and a baby stroller. "Great." I pull Thor over to the grass and have him lie down. I straddle him, with my knees in his rib cage and wait for the couple with the baby stroller to pass. I can feel Thor's body tighten under mine and I dig my knees into his ribs and choke up on his collar. Thor begins to jerk away, I dig harder and try to get in between the incoming couple and my menace to society dog. Thor jerks away hard enough that I lose my grip and grab the leash just as I fall on the grass. I'm yelling at Thor, "NO THOR NO, STAY, LEAVE IT!" The little old lady starts yelling, "laydown, laydown!" I'm being dragged across the pavement by my dog struggling to get a peak at the innocent baby in the stroller. I get my footing together and grab his collar just as his nose swipes the baby's blanket. The little old man gives me a dirty look, I yell back to them, "I'm so sorry!" I turn to Thor who is now sitting as cute as can be in the grass with a butterfly twirling around his head. "Damn mutt." Now today when Ryan goes on a walk with us, there will be no little black dogs in yards, no little old ladies or baby strollers, there won't even be a duck in the river next to the path, and Ryan will look at me and say, "I don't know why you get so upset, Thor is doing great! I don't have a problem with him." Thor will look at me with the big ol' puppy smile and I'll lower my eyes at him.

SD

Monday, August 18, 2008

Lunchtime Dilema

I'm at work, I'm hungry, I look at the clock, "Oh, it's lunch time, sweet." Normally I don't take a lunch, Lord knows I have enough work to do that I usually eat my sandwich while I'm working, but today is different. To avoid burn-out, I've decided to take lunches more often. Last night I packed my lunch, not just a sandwich, but fruit and pretzels too, and put my book on the table. I started a new book yesterday called The Black Unicorn by Terri Brooks, it's a fantasy book and I LOVE fantasy and sci-fi books, I can't get enough of them, and this one is pretty good so far. So, I look at the clock and see it's lunch time, I happily unpack my lunch, and start looking for my book. "Where's my book? PLEASE tell me I didn't leave it on the table????.....Crap, I left it on the table." GAH! So, I've checked my email, checked myspace, checked facebook, checked my email again, read a friends blog, and it's been about 15 minutes. *Sigh* I look around my desk, I look around my cubie mates desk, I stare out the window. "Well, this is ridiculous, I'm gonna drive myself mad." Back to audits.

SD

Friday, August 15, 2008

Inspire Me Thursday

Lately I've been visiting the site inspiremethursday.com. The inspiration for this week is your wardrobe, to paint, sketch, write, ect., about your wardrobe. Well I have to tell you that when it comes to fashion and clothing I have no idea what I'm doing. I typically pick an actress that has the same body shape as me and copy whatever they do, or I steal my sister's clothes when I go home for the holidays. What can I say, I'm a jeans, t-shirt, flip flops kinda girl. I have a pair of Calvin Klein jeans that I absolutely love, but other than that, the majority of my clothes come from Forever 21 or Target.

OK, so you look in your closet and what do you see? "Hhhmm...dirty laundry, shoes, a couple of Ryan's uniforms, a cat." Nothing eye catching or inspiring unless "inspiring" me to do laundry counts. "Surely, I must have something exciting in here." I start rummaging through my wardrobe and I see a whole lot of black and a whole lot of vintage lace tops. So then I get thinking, what is MY style, T-shirts.....vintage lace? Can random and sporadic be a style? I have flowery skirts and black satin skirts, vintage lace tops and leather halters. It sounds very dominatrix, I know. I promise I wear normal things, jeans and T-shirt girl remember? Then I find a dress I wore at my wedding, not my wedding dress but the dress you change into as you're leaving to go on your honeymoon, before I know it I'm trying things on, there's clothes everywhere, it looks like my closet threw up. Ryan walks in the room and asks, "Hey babe, whatcha doing?" "Uuumm...I have no idea, what was I doing?" OH yes, inspiration. Well so far I've been "inspired" to do laundry, "inspired" to lose 10 pounds, "inspired" to dig the cat out of the mound of clothes on the floor, and "inspired" to clean up the mound of fabric I've created and named "I have no idea what I was thinking when I bought that". I've decided that my vintage lace tops are my favorite. I feel classic when I wear them, sexy yet covered, classy and sophisticated. Now, the real question is, do I LOOK classy and sophisticated as I run the 5 blocks from the parking garage to work in the morning in heels because I'm running late, dodging around people, applying my lipgloss, and catching my sunglasses that are falling off of my face? Maybe I should work on being "inspired" to leave the house earlier in the morning. Well, let's face it, in the morning I'll be doing laundry, digging out a cat, and hanging up clothes. Besides the brisk run in the morning can help me lose that 10 pounds. :)

SD

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

It Just Gets Better and Better

In the on going battle of trying to get to the bottom of my puppies seizure issues, I have stumbled across some interesting information. One of the girls I work with was bored one night and decided to do some internet surfing on pet neurology. She discovered that a pet neurologist is nothing but a glorified veterinarian. They go through the same type of schooling, and graduate with a bachelor's in veterinary medicine, they go on to take boards just as every other vet does. They then go through 1 year of clinical practice, which a "regular" vet may not go through. A "regular" vet will then move on to working at a hospital or in an office setting, so basically they are going to do clinical practice also they just aren't paying for it and don't get a shiny new certificate for it. Regular vets can treat a pet the same as a neurologist, run the same tests, and provide the same treatment (as long as they have the equipment available to them, I would think MRI's are pricey so not every vet may have one chillin in the office). But of course, I don't know this, I've never done this before, I'm worried and panicky, so when the hospital says to take him to a neurologist, I think "Oh good a SPECIALIST, SURELY she will know what to do!" Well she doesn't and I could have taken my pup to any vet and they would have told me the same thing for 1/2 the price. (Quite literally, to talk to the neurologist was $105, to talk to my family vet is $45.) Well that's great.

So now I am no longer, Stephanie Denton, Accounts Receivable Clerk, I am, Stephanie Denton, Dealer Accounting Specialist. I do the exact same thing as a clerk, but I have 8 years of experience and shiny certificates so I obviously can't be grouped with the other clerks. Oopps, sorry, my sarcasm is showing.

SD

Monday, August 11, 2008

Money Money Money

Ryan's and my typical trend is that as soon as we save up a decent comfortable amount, something always comes up and it brings our savings back to not so decent. Last time it was car repairs, this month it's vet bills. I realize that the whole point of savings is to cover your butt for these emergencies that come out of nowhere that way you don't have to use credit cards. But honestly we're getting nowhere here. We save up, we pay, we save up, we pay, in the end we always just break even and I'm getting a little tired of just breaking even. Maybe it's just the way of the middle class, perhaps I'm not so good at budgeting, maybe our luck is just plain bad. Who the heck knows, all I know is that even though we save and save and save and work hard to pay off debt, in the end we end up clearing out our bank account b/c of cars or pets or whatever or we end up using our credit cards, which I am trying desperatley to pay off. *Sigh* Where's my winning lottery numbers or my big publishing break, huh? That's what I want to know.

Orion is still having seizures, the hospital has no idea what's wrong and they seem unconcerned. They told me that dogs have seizures all the time and I shouldn't be worried. The neurologist wants $1700 to run more tests to determine the problem. She also said that he might be epileptic which they cannot test for or treat. So basically she wants me to dish out close to $2000 to run a bunch of tests that may not tell us anything so then she can say, "Oh well I guess he's epileptic after all." How bout no. I called our regular vet and set up an appointment to have Orion looked at. I think a lot of our vet, I think he will be able to tell us if we should go ahead with the testing or if he can get Orion on medicine for epilepsy. SO, we'll see how that goes.

Ya know, with the amount we have spent on Orion's medical bills, Thor's behavior training, and just regular routine shots, neuters, ect., we could probably buy a small yacht. For pete's sake they consume a 35lb. bag of dog food every week and a half/2 weeks. That's $200 a month just on dog food. Good grief, that's a lot. Little heffers.

SD

Saturday, August 9, 2008

It's A Little Crowded In Here

In an attempt to make my blog more widely known, I decide to Google it and see if it comes up, I put in my URL and I search through 26 PAGES, nothin', nada, zilch, zip, zero. "Well good Lord this cannot be, I put in the URL!" I check my blog to make sure it still exists, it does but apparently not in Google land. I do however find a plethora of military life blogs. It seems that as military we have a lot to say. Some of the blogs are quite interesting such as the lady who is trying to stretch her food budget based on how much the military deems as "enough", other's provide insight into what they perceive as the military life and some are just way too TMI. (Mine of course far surpasses all the others, not that I'm biased or anything.) Some blogs are full of what that person considers "advice", although all I read was a whole lot of he said she said mumbo jumbo, and some are written by a community of experienced Navy wives who I found pretty helpful. Either way, there's a whole lot of us out there and we all want to share. The question is, how the heck do I make my blog pop up at the top of the Google list?? Don't really want to change my URL, I'm kinda attached to it. I could add a description to the title but I think the title is pretty much self explanatory. Well that just leaves option number 3 *sigh*, call Google and demand that my blog address come up at the top of every "Navy wife" search that can be performed.

SD

Friday, August 8, 2008

Just...Breath

Ryan's going on deployment. Apparently they didn't even send his tenure paperwork off, they withheld it on purpose so that he wouldn't get out on his higher tenure date. Can they even do that? Duh, it's the military they can do whatever they want. So Ryan's going. He's not taking it too well, he was pretty sure he'd be getting out of the Navy. I guess he asked that they send the paperwork out now anyway, even though the detailer told him it was too late, it wouldn't be approved now. That's lousy, holding back someone's paperwork so that they can't move on with their lives. It's the Navy, what are you gonna do.

Orion is home now he has been seizure free for over 48 hours. The seizures just stopped out of nowhere. The hospital suggested that I still take him to the neurologist for a consultation, so I did. She found nothing wrong with him. She suggested we do a series of tests that cost $1700 to try to pinpoint the problem. I asked that she do the top two tests that she strongly recommends and we take it from there. Yes, Orion is my baby, but if she found nothing wrong, and he's not seizing now, $1700 is a lot of money to put into a whole lot of testing that will more than likely come back negative. Not to mention that this pet neurologist is an hour away. One of the tests came back negative, the other we won't have the results until next week. If he starts having seizures again we'll continue the testing, but I honestly feel that he consumed something and it was extremely toxic or there was a ton of it and that's why he was having a difficult time recovering, BUT I am not a vet. She said that seizures are not life threatening unless they last more than 5 minutes and he's having them back to back in that case I'll need to take him to the hospital immediately. It's really hard knowing what to do, he's my baby, but on the other hand Ryan and I don't have buried treasure in the backyard and although pet insurance reimburses us, we have to have that money up front and we don't get reimbursed 20% and the deductible. In the meantime we're keeping a close eye on him. He's back to his normal happy self, running, jumping and twirling about. It's good to have him home, it wasn't the same without him.

SD

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

The Waiting...OH The Waiting!

I'll admit I'm an impatient person and I control freak, not always a good combination but I work through it and try to roll with the punches, but sometimes I just get to the point where I want to rip my hair out and say, "SOMEONE just tell me SOMETHING, good or bad, I don't care, just let me in on WHAT THE CRAP IS GOING ON!" For Pete's sake. Today at 3pm Ryan has a meeting with some career dude on his ship. Apparently, the career dude has received Ryan's tenure paperwork back and he needs to speak with him. We're hoping that this isn't another, "hey man you need to fill out this OTHER form that we FORGOT" talk but that it's a "you're going on deployment" or "you're getting out of the Navy talk". He finds out at 3, I'll find out soon after. BUT seeing how tense and stressed out I've been the last couple days, email will all the sudden go to pot and I won't hear from him.

I talked to the animal hospital this morning, my sweet precious puppy is still having seizures and they don't know why. He has toxins in his blood but they can't pinpoint what they are, and his liver isn't working efficiently enough to push the toxins out. They gave him medication thinking that even though he's too young for epilepsy, that that might be it but he didn't respond to the meds either. We're waiting for more blood work and liver tests to come back, but the doctor said that if his blood work comes back the same or as normal and he's still having seizures that we'll need to take him to a neurologist. So basically, they have no idea why this is happening or how to make it stop. Luckily my pet insurance covers specialists visits and testing. People always say that insurance is a waste of money that the majority of the time you never need it, well this time I needed it and I am SO glad I have it. What's the likely hood that a 6 mo. old completely healthy golden retriever puppy up to date on all his shots, take heartworm meds and Advantix every month and vitamins every day would have uncontrollable seizures out of nowhere that no one can explain, pretty slim right? YEAH, I'm glad I have pet insurance. The doctor I talked to last night said that he keeps licking the nurses and wants to play, poor baby, doesn't even realize how sick he is.

So yes, screw waiting, I want to know NOW! Please.....

SD

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Murphy's Law For The Military

Everything good and bad happens while your sailor is gone, this is Murphy's Law for the military. Orion, my 6 month old Golden Retriever had seizures last night. He's 55 pounds I can't lift him, and he had 3 seizures in a row within 30 minutes. I called my friend Tiffany, I don't even remember what I said to her, but 15 minutes later she was at my house carrying Orion to her car (she has a Great Dane and a Bull Mastiff, lol, she said Orion was really light). We went to the closest animal hospital, and they kept him overnight. The doctor and nurses said that he's too young for epilepsy (although they aren't ruling it out) but by the questions they asked me it sounds like they think he got into something and was poisoned. Last night he had a total of 10 seizures, I feel so helpless, I hate this. I don't have any human children, my dogs are my babies, as much as I complain about them I love them, they're my companions when Ryan's gone. When we got back to the house, Tiffany and I scoured the backyard, we found nothing not even a mushroom, so whatever it was, Orion consumed all of it. Thor was confused and uneasy, Tiffany tried to keep him busy until Marina came with her dog Diesel. Marina stayed with me last night, my friends my sisters. I called the hospital last night to check on him and the doctor said he's had more seizures, but they have him stabilized. They said that his blood work shows strands of toxins and his liver is working double overtime which has them concerned. They said that if I didn't hear from them tonight he's ok, no news is good news. (It's 6am, and I didn't get a phone call last night, I'm hoping this is good.) They said that if it was indeed something he consumed that it would flush out of his system and he'll be fine, but at this point it's a waiting game. When I got off the phone I lost it.

This whole thing has made me realize how unprepared I am for pet emergencies. Orion's 55 pounds what if I couldn't get a hold of anyone? I guess I could try to put Orion on a blanket and drag him to the car, but he was terrified as it was, he wouldn't have just laid there on the blanket while I dragged him across the driveway. Thor is 80 pounds what in the world would I have done?? The total cost of this could be up to $1000, luckily we have pet insurance, and they will reimburse us for most of it, but it's a reimbursement program, meaning we pay for all services up front. This cannot happen again, there's 2 things I do not handle well and that's boredom and being a sitting duck for disaster. For crying out loud I didn't even have the animal hospital's number! I was completely unprepared, and it makes me mad that I put myself in that position. I know that there's nothing I can do about all of this now, but I can have a game plan for the future, and that's exactly what I plan on doing.

SD

Friday, August 1, 2008

My Friends My Sisters

When something great or not so great happens in my life, Ryan is the first one I go to, but as the Military Murphy Law states, "All good and bad things will happen while your sailor is gone." The next people I turn to is not my mom or my sisters, or my dad, although they are close. The ones I turn to are my girlfriends. So many times I find that civilians just don't understand, but my Navy wife friends always do. "What do you mean you're concerned about getting out of the military?!" Not from my girlfriends, they say, "I totally understand, I feel the same way." We're all away from our families, away from what we know as home, and we all know we're here temporarily, but we put our whole heart into our friendships, it's all we have when our men are gone. We hold each other up, and sometimes we give each other a swift kick in the pants, but we're here for each other no matter what. My girlfriends have become my sisters. I honestly feel that the bond between military spouses while their other half is gone is something that not just anyone can experience. Have you ever received a phone call in the middle of the night, "Hey, can I sleep over, it's too quiet at my place?" A military wife has, I have both received and made those phone calls. Lol, now we just give each other our house keys. Ryan and I have seen so many people come and go. One of my best friends and her husband got out of the Navy and went to live in Indiana, I cried when she left. I have another great friend leaving soon, she's being transfered overseas, I'll probably cry when she leaves to. Soon it will be our turn to leave, but I will NEVER forgot my girls, these girls that I have served on the FRG with, these girls that I scrapbook with, these girls I take trips with, and have shared my heart with. These girls that I have called at 10pm and have asked them to come sit with me b/c I was lonely. All of my Navy wife friends whether you're still Navy or not, you will always be my friends and you will always be my sisters.

To multiply or not to multiply

Ryan was recently home for 24 hours. My boss was nice enough to let me have 1/2 the day off. We went to see The Dark Knight, that new Batman movie (which was VERY good and I would totally see it again), we caught each other up on things, Thor's latest in training, Orion's surgery, my job stuff, his job stuff, bills, how our garbage disposal and one of our toilets still doesn't work, ect. We get back home and Gizmo (one of the cats) follows Ryan around meowing violently at him. Ryan looks at me and asks, "What's wrong with him?" *Shrug*, "Maybe he's mad at you." Ryan bends down to pet him and Gizmo rolls over to expose his belly purring. When we let the dogs in to see him they went nuts, like they had been couped up in a box for 3 months! Thor wouldn't let Ryan out of his sight. When I came home from work today, I let the pups in and Thor scoured the house for Ryan, of course he didn't find him, he came back to me and stared at me as if to say, "Ok, where'd you hide him?" "Sorry boo, daddy's out again, he'll be back soon." Thor sauntered back to the living room and plopped on the floor with a big sigh. I walk over and lay on the floor next to him. I can't help but think, thank goodness we don't have human babies, how the heck would I explain to a 5 or 6 year old why daddy can't stay home and explain it so that they would understand. Then I start thinking about our future and how we still don't know if we're doing this upcoming deployment or not, or if we'll ever be ready for kids, or if I'll really be a good mom, how the heck will we afford kids, the dogs eat us out of house and home as it is. Maybe there never really is a PERFECT time for babies to come along, if we're really just waiting for the perfect time and there really is no perfect time, why are we waiting, why not now??? Next thing I know both dogs have each other by the ear and are playing tug of war. The phone rings. Both cats are meowing at the baby gate, someone just texted me, the dogs knock over one of the tables, cranberry juice all over my carpet, one of the cats jumps the gate, Thor goes after the cat knocking over a chair that hits Orion in the head and he's off running to the corner yelping. The cat is sliding all over the floor trying to get away from the bounding 80 pound dog chasing him, he leaps over the gate, Thor crashes into the gate and yelps. "Good grief, thank you God for putting me back into perspective." XA on the kiddays......for now. :)

SD