Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween...Beware Of Dog

So today is Halloween. The one night of the year where kids dress up and beg for candy at people's doorsteps. I get off work, run to the store and grab a bag of candy. Get home, let the dogs in, and put the candy in a bowl and leave it on the counter. I leave the room and return 10 minutes later. Thor has this horribly guilty look on his face. I look at him, "What did you do?" He hangs his head further. I scan the room, no shredded pillows, couch cushions or blankets, all electronics are in place, everything looks fine. As I walk into the kitchen, I catch Orion jumping onto the couch and reaching through the window that separates the kitchen and the living room, his entire head is in the candy bowl. "NO!" I grab him and yank him off the couch. "Chocolate will kill you, you big dummy!" I go off on a tirade yelling and pointing at both of them. I look in the bowl and it's half empty, they consumed half a bag of Reese's peanut butter cups, wrappers and all. Lovely. About 2am I'll hear frantic barking and whining from both of them needing to go outside. I put the candy on the fridge and turn the TV on. About half an hour later our first trick-or-treaters show up. I can see them approaching up the driveway, a mom pushing a stroller and a little boy dressed like a skeleton carrying a plastic pumpkin. Humming, I skip into the kitchen and swipe the candy bowl off the fridge. As I approach the front door I can see Thor staring out the window at our visitors. I know that look in his eyes. "Thor! Watch me!" He snaps his head to the right to look at me. "You be nice, no bark." He snaps his head back toward the window. I approach the front door just as the little boy reaches his tiny hand out to knock on the glass door. Thor immediately jumps onto the window sill with his front paws and does his best guard dog bark. The little boy jumps so high, he drops his pumpkin full of candy and starts crying. I open the door, "I am so sorry! He's in guard dog mode right now with all the people everywhere." The mother was extremely nice and made light of it. I felt awful. I get back in the house and scowl at Thor while he sits there in the middle of the living room, big old smile on his face, obvious that he's quite proud of himself. "Alright, you're going outside, ya big bully." I figured that although he would bark at the passers-by, that because we have a 6ft. tall privacy fence people would be fine. As soon as Thor gets outside, he's on patrol. Running from one side of the yard to the other, barking, claiming his property and making sure no one comes into contact with it. I'm standing in the yard, at the back door watching Thor run from one side of the yard to the other. He stops. He stands perfectly still, ears perked up. I hear the children laughing down the street, and the music from the haunted house two streets over. Thor slowly, cautiously walks over to the back gate. I can hear people walking up and down the path behind the gate. Thor lets out his most menacing growl/bark combination, and a lady on the path screams, and then laughs. I should have dressed him up like a rabid dog, he would have played the part well.


Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Fine Line Of Sane and Not So Sane

Work sucks right now. It sucks my soul dry. For the last 2 weeks I have been like a lion on a rampage, ready to devour anyone who crosses my path. The two weeks before that I was in hyper panic mode trying to hit deadlines. I think I lost what little sanity I had left, this morning. My friend Cyndi sends me this instant message, she was picking on me because I was little slow this morning. She typed out I WE TAW DID. Well, being in the slow state that I was in, I read it and was like, "Huh?" So I instant messaged her back and asked her what the heck she was talking about. She told me to read the message out loud. So I did...3 times. Still didn't get it. I messaged her again, this time frustrated, "What the hell are you talking about?!" She again told me to read it out loud. So again I did, this time louder. I WE TAW DID. I WE TAW DID. I get up, stomp over to Cyndi's cube, throw my hands in the air and ask, "What the hell are you talking about?!" Cyndi points to each word and sounds them each out, and looks at me with her eyebrows raised, waiting for my reaction. I crinkle my brow, throw my hands on my hips and say, "What?" Cyndi then says it fast and I get it. I burst into a fit of laughs and get told to "SSSSSHHHHHHHH!" by about 4 people walking by. I giggle and run back to my cubicle. My cube buddy then asks me, "Are you ok? I know you're under a lot of stress. Is there something I can help you with?" I look up at her and say, "No I'm ok, why?" She then says, "Well you kept saying, 'I'm retarded' over and over again I was getting concerned." At this point I completely lose it and burst into laughter so hard I can barely breathe. I finally calm down and I can hear the manager on the other side of me, whisper, "I think she's finally lost it." About 10 minutes later, a fly flies into my cubicle and is harrassing me. I'm swatting and flailing about trying to get rid of this fly. He finally leaves, I straighten out my sweater, and sit down. I start giggling because I am totally picturing myself sitting in my cubicle announcing that I'm retarded and then flailing about minutes later. The quiet giggles soon erupt into wild laughter that I'm attempting to hold back, which I am failing miserably at. I am so getting a strait jacket for Christmas.


Monday, October 27, 2008

Freak Out 101

The 8 weeks of dual classes has ended! Freedom is glorious...or so I thought. Upon logging into my universities website I noticed that my next class is already under my name. I look at it, cock my head to the side and say to myself, "Well that's strange classes don't start again until Sunday." I click on the class to see that my new professor is requiring her students post on the discussion boards four times a week starting today, which is October 27th. She's also requiring us to turn in a paper and take a test on the first 4 chapters of the textbook on Sunday. Keep in mind that I JUST took my finals from my previous classes on Saturday and Sunday, as in like yesterday. I don't even have my textbook yet. It should have been here by now, but well it's not. I email to find out where the heck my book is, it's been almost 2 weeks now since I paid for it. He tells me that it could take another week and a half before I get the book and to have a nice day. So now I'm freaking out because I have no textbook, and we are supposed to have posted at least once on the boards today. I email the professor and explain to her that I was under the impression that classes didn't start until Nov. 2nd, that is the date that the college calendar gives the online classes as a start date, and I have yet to receive my book. Another super fantastic start to a new term! I hate school. I really really do. The good news is I only have to worry about starting out crappy with one class because it's the only class I'm taking this term.

I got my grades back from my prior 2 classes, and I have to say that I won't be getting an honors medal for those 2 classes but I think that with my 50 hours of work every week, school stress, dog stress and other random crap I have going on, I think I did pretty damn good and I will gladly take my average grades for those 2 classes.


Sunday, October 19, 2008

My Dad The TV Star

For those of you that don't know, my dad has been dabbling in the acting biz for several years. He's done a lot of community and church type, theatrical productions, but nothing big. He has had several extra roles in the second season of the television drama, Army Wives. They film in Charleston, SC, and my dad's agent was able to get my dad many "extra" type roles. For about the last month he's been in every episode but, if you don't know what my dad looks like you'd never know who he was, he doesn't have speaking roles, and although he's in the majority of the main scenes, you're more than likely watching the main characters, not the peeps in the background. WELL, tonight my dad was front and center, and I'm totally stoked about it! Still no speaking role, but the camera zoomed in on him a few times. The scene in the cafeteria with the other XO (not Joan but the dude XO), talking to Trevor, the guy sitting across from the XO with the super white hair is my dad. He's also the guy who helps break up the fight scene that also occurs in the mess hall. So yay! He's hoping they'll bump him up and use him for more speaking roles next season, I guess we'll see. My dad's a cop so I guess it also depends on what shift they give him this time around. So dad's a TV star...sorta. ;)


Friday, October 17, 2008

Someone Stop The World, I Wanna Get Off

For the last week I have been battling a cold. Like I have time to be sick right now. The world doesn't stop just because you're running a fever of 102 and hacking up a lung. At work we're undergoing this MAJOR clean-up project, I have named this project, "Operation Billing Hell Take One." At one point during the day I look over at my manager and she's completely glazed over and I can't tell if she's exhausted or about to burst into tears, at this point it could be both. I get a phone call from a sales rep (and we all know how much I love sales reps) and he wants to know why a certain customer was billed a certain way, "Well dumbass it's because YOU uploaded the wrong data." "Excuse me, you over there, yes you, could you pass me that noose? Thanks." I go home, cringe at my jungle of a lawn, trip over the cats meowing under my feet, see the sticky on the bathroom mirror telling me to make a payment on Ryan's car (crap I forgot to do that!), let the dogs in, yell at Thor for growling Orion, yell at Orion for licking me to death, erase the 4 messages of people telling me, "You just won a new car!", and sit on the couch with the daily mail. Bills, bills, bills. The government wanting a copy of Ryan's LES, the county wanting a copy of Ryan's LES, my 401k statement telling me I lost an extremely large amount of money due to the crash (I just love working my ass off for no reason), flyers, an invitation to a jewelry party (ya know we all have money for random crap that we aren't going to like 3 months later), more flyers. I look over, Orion's having a seizure, Thor's barking and flipping out, the cats are going crazy. Stop the world, I wanna get off. I get everyone cleaned up and calmed down, I sit down with my math book and next thing I know it's 11pm. I fell asleep on my book at the kitchen table. That saying, "Life is what happens when you're planning it", is playing like a sad song in my mind. Whoever decided 24 hours was a good time line for a day, must not have had a whole lot to do. It's the middle of October already, what the hell happened to September! Oh least the deployment is going fast. Now, where's those "That 70's show" and vampire movie re-runs...


Monday, October 13, 2008

The Last 2 Weeks of Hell

You know those crazy wind-up toys, that you pull back until they click and you let them go and they go speeding off until they run out of "gas"? Well for the next 2 weeks that will be me. My two classes come to an end in 2 weeks, in the meantime I have weekly assignments, papers and projects due, on top of studying for both finals. Yay me, I can hardly contain myself. Six weeks ago I had high hopes of obtaining an MBA and a CPA license, screeeeeewwwww that. My AA degree in Theatre and Literature and my BS in Business Finance are just going to half to do it for me. I would have to seriously hate myself and want to punish myself brutally to continue on with school any further than obtaining my Bachelor's. You go to school from 5 years old to 18 years old, then you have the option of continuing, but if you would like to make more than $10/hr., a bachelor's is a necessity, so then you do that for another 4 years. That's 22 YEARS of turning in homework assignments, and taking tests, all so that you can enter a field and make a reasonable amount of money. Dude, all I can say is that in 2 years, this had better be worth it.


Saturday, October 11, 2008

TGIF and Saturday Morning Cartoons

Remember when we were kids that series of shows on ABC, Friday nights at 8pm? They called it TGIF. Shows like Family Matters, Step By Step, and Boy Meets World. Whatever happened to shows like those? I can remember growing up with those shows, Full House was my favorite and yes, I cried during the final episode. One of my fondest memories growing up was all of us, me, my sisters, mom and dad sitting down with popcorn to watch those shows on Friday night. That was something we looked forward to every week. You're lucky to find any kind of wholesome show on Friday nights that both kids and parents will want to watch together. Last night I'm flipping through the channels (all 112 of them) and it was a coin toss between the movie Underworld (which I've seen about 5 times) and re-runs of That 70's Show (which I've also seen about 5 times). Why in the world did ABC cancel those shows? As much as I love a good battle between Vampires and Werewolves, it's not exactly suitable for a 7 year old kid, and neither is trying to explain why Kelsoe is wearing a green dress and parading around Jackie's room.

This morning, I wake up, make my coffee and bagel and sit down on the couch. I think to myself, I'm going to watch Saturday morning cartoons. I turn on the TV, and start flipping. Come to find out the only thing that hasn't changed since I was a kid is that Bob Ross, that painter dude, still paints on Saturday mornings. I didn't find one cartoon that made sense! There was some strange cartoon with PowderPuff girls mutilating broccoli, another cartoon with fairy's floating around some kid trying to be his subconscious or something, I totally didn't get it. Might I add, the cartoons have changed a bit since I was a kid, I don't think I've ever seen as much blood as I did this morning. What happened to Tom and Jerry?! Where the heck did Road Runner and Wiley Coyote scamper off too? Even the Cartoon Channel had some cockamame crappy version of the original Transformers cartoon and that was all screwed up. The kids nowadays are missing out. They have no idea how great cartoons can really be. What about Popeye? I was talking to a lady at Petsmart today about my cartoon predicament and her child responded with, "Oh, Popeye's Chicken?" Popeye's Chicken! No dude, Popeye the Sailor Man! He looked at me like I had lobster's crawling out of my ears, his mom was doubled over laughing. What kind of a world are we raising our children in, that they don't even know who Popeye is? THIS, my friends, is a travesty. Screw healthcare and the economy, we have a cartoon crisis in our midst! Shall we just stand by while the great legends of the cartoon era are buried under our noses? NO! I refuse to raise my future children in a world where there is no Popeye, or She-Ra, or Tazmanian Devil! We the people must ban together and bring back the ghosts of cartoon land! OR, you could hop on Ebay and purchase the DVD's, which are very reasonably priced I might add.


Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Thou Shalt Not Covet...YEAH, So Much For That

I don’t normally envy people or their situations. I want the same things that most people want - to be out of debt, to have a successful career, to backpack across Europe and those cute new Paolo shoes at Nordstrom’s. The one thing I wish I desperately had is self-confidence in my work. I envy those women who reek with self confidence. I grew up with a father that pushed me to the limits, he said that he was pushing me to be better; I say it was verbal abuse. I grew up constantly feeling like I wasn’t good enough and I never would be, no matter how hard I tried. I wasn’t who he wanted me to be and I was a disappointment to him. Since then, I’ve learned that my father really meant no harm he just didn’t know how to express what he meant to say. Although my father meant well it scarred me, I constantly seek the approval from the men in my life. No matter how many times Ryan has told me he loves me no matter what, I worry about disappointing him and not being the wife he needs and deserves.

This mentality has spilled over into other aspects of my life, my career mostly. I make mistakes, just like everyone makes mistakes, but I worry that I will be disappointing my boss, and I’ll be an embarrassment to myself and my department because of the mistakes I’ve made, whether big or small. The fact is, I made that mistake, it was a stupid mistake, I should have known better and if I would have just tried harder I probably wouldn’t have made that mistake. An incident that happened 1 year ago at a company I worked for scarred me even deeper. I had worked with that company for 2 years, I loved that company, I had a great job, I liked my job, and the people I worked with. I received a promotion, and I made a few errors. After 5 months in my new position they let me go, I forgot to order enough envelopes for that month and that along with the 4 errors I made, left my boss to feel that I wasn’t cut out for that department. I was beyond crushed. I work for a new company now, I’m still in accounting and I like my job and love my boss. Every time I make a mistake I worry that I am just 1 mistake closer to losing my job. For years I thought that I was using what my father said when I was a teenager as an excuse for being too hard on myself. I have no idea if it just scarred me more than I thought, or if I am indeed just emotionally weak. Either way, I worry myself into a frenzy about my career, and it’s really quite needless. My boss tells me I have nothing to worry about, but that’s also what my last boss said, and look what happened. I need self-confidence in myself, and I need to let go of the past. For cripe’s sake it’s the past and it haunting me this long is really ridiculous. Since I’ve gotten married, my father and I have a much better relationship, but it’s been difficult just canning the past and moving forward. So the question is, how do you forget what happened in the past, move forward, and gain self-confidence so that when a mistake IS made, instead of losing sleep at night you can go to your boss and say, “Hey I found another one, no biggie, it’s fixed”?

Sorry to pee on everyone’s happy cloud. This post was actually much more “soul bearing” than I had intended it to be, perhaps my subconscious mind is telling me I need to get it off my chest. Wah wah wah, poor me! Eh whatever, my neighbors already think I’m crazy why not add a few more into the mix! Besides the important people already know I’m insane.


Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Me And My Bright Ideas

I work about 8-9.5 hours a day at my job Mon.-Fri. I'm also fast-tracking my bachelor's degree full time, I'm also on the FRG board, have 2 dogs and 2 cats to take care of and we own our own house so there's that maintenance and repairs, and normal everyday life crap to take care of. My husband is deployed so it's just me doing all these things. I am not one to admit defeat. I like setting unrealistic goals, I like the challenge, but insane. I haven't written in my journal in a month, I've kept a personal journal since I was in 5th grade, and I enjoy writing in it. I haven't read a book in over a month which is not like me at all, I normally have about 2 or 3 books I'm reading at a time. I feel guilty watching my favorite TV shows, because I SHOULD be studying not watching Army Wives or Heroes. Thor stepped on my foot the other day and regardless of him being about 90 pounds, it was an accident and I shouldn't have gone ballistic on him. My friend Marina called me last Sunday to see if I wanted to take the pups to the dog park and I just lost it. That was my clue that perhaps I've taken on too much. I have always prided myself on being able to handle a lot, so for me to admit that I can't do all this, really and truly means that I've hit my breaking point. SO, I'm dropping school down to half time instead of full time. It will take me longer to finish but at least I will have my sanity. I am not a loser for dropping down to half time I am a person concerned about her mental health, and if I continue going the rate I'm going you all will be visiting me in my padded white room with me strapped to a table thrashing uncontrollably.


Sunday, October 5, 2008

2008 Elections-Let The Confusion Begin

I am not one to talk about politics. A political discussion, to me, is a lot like a religious discussion, I would rather stab myself in the eye with a pencil than engage in either. This upcoming election is a crucial one, one I believe is blog worthy (and I'm sure my 3 loyal readers could use a break from the usual, "my dog is psycho" post). I am 25, the last election (2004) was my first time voting, I registered independent, I watched the debates, I kept up with the candidates and did plenty of research, I knew exactly who I was voting for from the get go and why. This election is not as clean cut, for me. I go back and forth a lot. I'm honestly not sure who I'm voting for. With the war is Iraq, the economy the way it is and the global climate sliding, among others, there is a lot to consider.

Of course each candidate is going to promise each and every American, rainbows with pots full of gold on their doorsteps, they want votes! All I ask is for a little consistency. During the vice presidential debate, Biden stated that he and Barack are against gay marriage, yet Barack opposes the bill to ban gay marriage. So, are you for it or are you against it? In the case of Iran, Barack stated he would meet with Iran's leaders without preconditions, now he says he's not sure, During the presidential debate he stated that he wanted to pull troops out of Iraq, then it was stated that he wanted to put troops in Afghanistan. So what are we doing, are we pulling them out, or sending them there, or are we leaving some in Iraq and sending some to Afghanistan? McCain bounces back and forth about taxes, first we do want tax cuts, then we don't want tax cuts, then we only want them for the wealthy and now we want them for everyone. GAH! I pull up their past voting records,, and they've both gone back and forth on how they vote on certain topics. I know that on certain things I have very strong opinions, but on other things, I am very open to hear what others say. Two of my best friends have very different opinions than I, and if I am looking for an opinion I always go to them. They see things from a different perspective and nine times out of ten they open my eyes to something that I may not have thought about before. If I vote a certain way one time and the next time I vote a different way, perhaps it was because someone had a better idea or what that person said made a whole lot of sense for the economy at that time. Senators and governors are human too, they're not perfect, but a voting record shows how they have voted over their time in office not the last 6 months, and there’s a whole lot of flipping back and forth in the last 6 months. I look at each one of their plans and I take into consideration the issues that are the most important to me. On some things I side with Obama and some things I side with McCain, at this point it’s about even. I think Obama has a lot of good ideas and I think that America might need a new approach to things, such as the war in Iraq and energy needs, but McCain has experience that Obama doesn’t, such as military experience, BUT just because you have experience that doesn’t mean you’ll do a great job. I guess it just comes down to who you believe has the best approach for our country, OR who you think is the lesser of the 2 evils (I’ve heard that expression used a lot.) Unfortunately, for me, I have no idea, so I’ll continue watching the debates and collecting facts. I’ll be the girl surfing the internet the night before the polls open, trying to decide who I want to be our “commander-in-chief.” Then after I vote I’ll probably think, “Well crap maybe I should have voted for the other guy.”


Wednesday, October 1, 2008


I just realized that I only had 4 posts for September. No wonder people have been sending me hate mail! Sorry guys! With work and school and the dogs and lord knows the other things I'm involved in, things get pushed to the back burner. I know, I know, that's a terrible excuse, but it's all I got so you're gonna have to deal. And honestly, how much more do you want to hear about my crazy dogs? I could start posting about my douche bag professor...


Doggie Daycare

Doggie daycare is the best thing since microwave popcorn! I’m planning on visiting my family during Christmas, it’s about a 6 hour drive. Thor can barely handle the 3 minutes to the dog park let alone 6 hours to South Carolina. We’ve taken him on road trips before and it’s absolutely miserable. The car ride makes him nervous, and being in a new place makes him on edge and he doesn’t listen well. It’s not much of a vacation for Ryan and I, because we’re constantly dealing with Thor. Ryan’s deployed so it would just be me. I can only picture me driving with a howling Ridgeback in the back and a Golden in the front licking my face for 6 hours. How bout no, so I’ve been looking at places to board them. I’m super picky and I didn’t want them to be cooped up in cages the entire time. I found this great place, Family Dog Club, and it’s only 15 minutes from my house! The owner lives on the premises and she owns tons of land! She teaches agility, so she has all these agility courses and doggie playgrounds, and they get to play in her yard all day with the other dogs! PERFECT! She requires that the pups go through 1 day of doggie day care so she can see how they do with other dogs and in a strange place. I dropped them off Monday morning; they went running all over the place, they were so excited. After I finished filling out the paperwork I looked for them to say goodbye and they were scampering about playing with the beagles, (the owner recues beagles also). I left there whispering a prayer, “Please God, let them be exhausted when I pick them up after work!” Picked them up after work that same day, and Rita, the owner, said they were a joy to have and she’s looking forward to boarding them for Christmas. Great! I think I’m going to take them to the daycare once a month until Christmas just to make sure Thor is comfortable. Rita said that he wouldn’t go in her garage to eat, she said he looked really nervous when she was herding them all in. The pups fell asleep on the ride home and slept from 5:45pm-5am the next morning. “THANK YOU GOD!” I have never seen Thor so exhausted, it was heaven! Gizmo, one of my cats, even jumped the gate and was sitting in the kitchen, Thor just laid there staring at him as if to say, “Whatever, I’m pooped, I’ll get you later.” Orion fell asleep with his paw in his food dish, poor baby was pooped! I was able to leave the living room without having Thor cry, I could get things done around the house without tripping over doggie paws, I could study without having toys dropped in my lap or on my head. (Thor likes to get my attention by dropping his HUGE rope toys on my lap or on my head while I’m studying on the floor. I look up and there’s Thor hanging his head over me, ears flopping in his face, head cocked, looked at me like he’s saying, “Play with me woman!”) It was nice not to have any rope/head injuries that night! Unfortunately doggie daycare is expensive, $15 a day. You may say, well that’s not much, but $15 a day for 5 days a week for 52 weeks a year, adds up to just under $4000.00 a year for doggie daycare. We aren’t wealthy people, and I’m trying to convince Ryan that we should have a child in the next 2 years, that $4000 needs to go towards paying off debt or savings. So in the meantime, I found a great place to board them for the holidays!