Friday, February 27, 2009

Reward Points

I came home from work the other day to find a card from the post office saying I had a package. Now, I knew Marina had sent me and the other girls presents so I figured that's what the package was. After work the next day I went to the post office and picked up the box. It looked like it's had been through World War III, tears, dents, holes, and it was heavy as hell. I got back to the house and looked at the customs form. The box wasn't from Marina, it was from Ryan. I thought to myself, "Oh yeah that's right, I forgot he sent me a box!" I excitedly attempted to tear the box open, although it looked like it had been through hell and back it was quite sturdy and no amount of yanking, scratching and prodding was causing it to break open. I grunted and walked into the kitchen in search of scissors, no where to be found. I walked into the garage looking for the scissors or the chain saw, whichever I stumbled upon first. SCISSORS! I grabbed them and bounced back into the house. After much shredding and tearing, I'm sure I resembled the Tasmanian devil if he got a package from his significant other, I FINALLY got the box open. I discovered the gifts he bought me at the ports he hit, first. He did good, I love love love them! After putting the necklace and scarf on from Africa and the hoodie from...wherever the heck he bought it, I came across the books and magazines he sent back to me. He's cleaning out his locker. After creating the leaning tower of periodicals I peered into the box and found a pile of cards, notes and letters. "What in the world?" I looked closer. The cards, notes and letters are from me to him. Inside that box was every card, note and letter I ever sent him while he was on that ship. Three deployments worth of cards, notes and letters and he kept every single one. I couldn't believe it. I thought he read them and tossed them, I had no idea he kept them. The first card I picked up was a Valentine's Day card...it was from 2003.

Ryan is not a very sentimental person, in all honesty I think he confuses "pack rat" with "sentimental", so this came as a total surprise. I never asked him to keep those cards, he chose to do that. He probably doesn't even realize how sweet I think he is for doing that either. He so scored MAJOR points for this!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The Countdown Begins!

Ryan will be home on March 13th. It's such a relief to FINALLY have a homecoming date! I feel like now we can start to actually move on with our lives. That gives me two weeks to finish up the house upgrades and lose 10 pounds. Yeah right, I'll be lucky if I can get through work each day and pass this economics class, let alone do anything over and above that.

I can't believe that this is our last deployment, our last homecoming. We've made it through three deployments, it really doesn't seem like it's been that long, the time has flown by. A friend recently asked me what she should expect when the guys get back. I told her be prepared for him to leave his clothes all over the place, eat a ton of food and drink a lot of beer. He'll more than likely just want to stay home flipping through the TV channels and he'll want Taco Bell and steak like every day. She responded with, "Oh." I laughed and told her to keep in mind that the guys have had no personal space whatsoever, the food is terrible and they absolutely have not had the luxury to watch their own TV. They have gone from a tiny little bed and locker to an entire house with a Taco Bell down the street.

Both deployments prior to this one, Ryan has come home, left clothes and random stuff all over the place, he hasn't wanted to go anywhere or do anything but lay around, watch TV and play video games, and he's wanted to eat, a lot. I don't blame him one bit. I know to keep certain things in the fridge, make sure his comfy pajamas are clean and his computer is up and running. I can't wait for him to be home. I can't wait to walk into a room and see him standing there. I can't wait to wake up and see him next to me, or come home from work and see him standing in the kitchen making dinner. I can't wait to show him what I've done to the house and for him to see how much the dogs have grown, and how much I've changed over this deployment.

Just two more weeks, 15 days...there is no way I'm going to get all this crap done before he gets home...

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Murderer Of My Soul

As I sit here in my cubicle surrounded with papers of random numbers that I am supposed to decipher by tomorrow afternoon. Madonna's, Express Yourself plays through my headphones. "Excuse me, yes you, may I please borrow your bazooka? Thank you very much, I'll bring this right back." (And yes, any employee of the company I work for is bound to have either a noose, a bazooka, or a can of lighter fluid handy. If you worked here, you would understand.)

I would love nothing more than to take a bottle of lighter fluid and dump it on my cubicle and set it ablaze. "Hey Steph, whatcha doing?" "Oh, nothin', I just thought I'd have smores for lunch."

Don't be alarmed if one day you see on the news, Crazed Accountant Jumps From 11th Story Window. The camera cuts to a Stephanie-shaped hole in the window, similar to that of a cartoon. My boss shows up on the screen, "I tried to jump after her....what....no, I wasn't trying to save her, we agreed a long time ago we'd go together!"

As much as I threaten to take this building down, we all know that there is no way I could acquire enough dynamite to take the whole thing down. The parking garage yes, but that's about it; and let's face it if you're gonna do something, do it right. SO, the next time dynamite goes on sale, my fellow co-workers, you best beware.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Valentines Day....PUH!

Today is Valentine's Day. I had completely forgotten that today was Feb. 14th, until I opened up my email account this morning and saw cupid all over the internet. I had about 5 million errands to run today, remembering that two weeks ago I packed the day full on purpose to keep myself distracted from the thought of this Hallmark holiday. I walk outside to load up my car full of crap and see the little neighbor girl posing in front of her car, which was covered in roses and balloons, her mom was taking a picture. I smile, wave and hold back my exasperated sigh. As I'm driving to the seamstress to drop off my 4 pairs of pants that are too long, I see couples in their cars, some with balloons, some with flowers, some laughing, some kissing. I look out the windshield and decide to just focus on the road. I stop at a red light. I look to my right and see a couple making out in the car next to me. Inevitably, Mariah Carey's song Fantasy comes through my car stereo. I glare ahead at the red light trying to use my telekinesis powers to make it turn green. I, of course, have no such powers and the light stayed red for what seemed like 10 years. I then proceed to see my wax lady. She and I can carry on a conversation pretty well, but of course today is different. She excitedly tells me that her boyfriend is cooking her dinner and giving her a massage tonight. If I wasn't flat on my back with hot wax dripping into certain places I might have grabbed her by her hair. My day continued like this from the couple sitting in each others laps at the mechanics shop, to the girl walking down the street with a dozen heart shaped balloons when I picked up a charger from my boss, to the five men standing in line at the grocery store, their arms full of flowers and stuffed animals.

Perhaps I'm extra sensitive to these things today, because of our geographical situation. I have spent several Valentine's Days away from Ryan, and it's never been a big deal before, I just keep myself busy and I don't think about it. As a matter of fact, the "V-Day's" that he has been home haven't really been anything super fantastic. We don't really get into Hallmark holidays, we're more birthday people, but for whatever reason, today I am irritated. The next girl I see parading around with flowers, I'm going to tackle her and beat her with them. Ok, so maybe I won't do that but I have thought of it.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Harmful If Swallowed

It's been a long day so I decided to head to bed early. I'm going through my usual routine, make-up off, face washed, eye drops, teeth brushed, the whole bit. Upon trying to take a make-up remover cloth out of the packet I knock my lotion into the toilet. Awesome. I then proceeded to stub my toe on the vanity and jab myself in the eye with the eye drop tube. I breathe deep and remind myself, "THIS is why you're going to bed early." I take a swig of mouthwash, close my eyes and swish for 60 seconds. I open my eyes just as I'm about to release the mouthwash from my mouth, only to be nose to nose with Charlie, one of my cats. Apparently, he jumped up in the sink while my eyes were closed. In an attempt to avoid spewing mouthwash all over my cat, I quickly turn to the side only to discover that the curtain to the shower is closed and after my lotion fiasco, I had closed the lid to the toilet. At this point I'm choking, swallowing and coughing. Super fantastic. I give Charlie the evil eye as he looks up at me purring. I grunt, drop the hand towel on the sink, and trip over Gizmo (my other cat) as I'm walking out of the bathroom. I look at him, point to the door and say "SHOO!" He meows and scampers out of the room and down the hall. For pete's sake, I'm going to bed!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

And The Saga Continues...

I received an email from Ryan today stating that he will be home roughly a month later than expected. Let me rewind...

About two weeks ago, I spoke to Ryan over the phone, he proceeded to tell me that the earliest he would be home is mid-Feb, the latest near the end of Feb. He has 45 days on the books and he routed a chit to claim all 45 days. So far it's been approved and everything looks pretty good. This, obviously, is good news. I miss him, I would like him to come home and the extra 15 days of job hunting puts my racing mind a little more at ease.

Today I get an email saying that the XO (Executive Officer under the Captain) has disapproved his request to take all 45 days, and therefore he may only be allowed to take 30 days which could push his homecoming date back to mid-March. (I have no idea how 15 days constitutes an entire month of waiting time...it's the Navy, I'm not even sure THEY understand half the crap they do, but regardless that's the situation.) *SIGH* "Ok, I love you, let me know when you find out what the heck the deal is."

They wouldn't let him get out in Oct., then they wouldn't let him re-enlist so he could stay in, now they won't let him off 15 extra days so he can at least find a job. Seriously make up your damn mind! For the love of Pete! As much as I love being a military wife, THIS is something that I will not miss. They Navy controlling every aspect of your life, you're never able to plan anything, you can only plan a year at a time because you never know where you'll be or what you'll be doing. They yank your chain (at least we've had our chain yanked a whole lot, the five years we've been stationed here), it gets very old.

We'll actually be able to plan vacations now! Not the whole "going to see the family for the holidays," but an actual vacation, this is exciting! I emailed Ryan and told him we're almost there, almost done with all this BS. Needless to say, he's relieved.