Friday, December 30, 2011

When A Door Closes, A Window Opens

Well it only took six months before I had my first royal mommy screw-up. We flew to South Carolina and back just fine, I had enough milk, books, toys, ect. for both holiday trips. I've never forgotten anything for daycare. I've always had enough diapers, wipes, always made enough baby food, have only had to supplement his milk with formula once since the Puppp issue, due to supply issues while road tripping during Thanksgiving. No major crisis, no major flub-ups, until now.

Yesterday evening Tyler and I were waiting for his bottle to warm up. I let Thor outside and Tyler thinks Thor is HILARIOUS. That little boy loves that dog. So from the window of the back door we were watching Thor run around the yard. Then I had the fantastic idea of going outside with the dog while the bottle warmed up. All three of us are outside playing in the yard for about 20 minutes I picked Tyler up and headed toward the house and the door wouldn't open. It was locked. I thought, "What in the world?" Our backdoor has two locks, the doorknob and the deadbolt. The doorknob doesn't lock, the lock is stuck in the unlock position and no amount of WD-40 or Ryan's or my dad's strength can budge that thing. We use the deadbolt. Obviously a deadbolt can only be locked from the inside, you can't lock the deadbolt then close the door, the deadbolt will block the door from being closed. I must have tried opening that door 20 times in less than a minute. Surely my mind was playing tricks on me. There's no possible way it could have locked behind me. It was locked, locked tight. I didn't have my keys, or my cell. I had a dog and a baby and two chairs, that's it.

There was a brief moment of OMIGOD, WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO!!! We have a shed area joining the house, I tried that door-locked. Tried the back door again-locked. We have a 6ft. privacy fence enclosing our backyard; I tried both gates-both locked with padlocks. I thought, "Maybe I can jump the fence," but 1)the front door is locked, 2)it's too far of a drop so I'd need to leave Tyler in the backyard by himself and there aren't slats on the other side of the fence so I risk not being able to get back over the fence to get to him. Obviously that idea is a no go. I tried the back door again-locked. I cursed. A lot. If I had to I could wait until Ryan got home but he was in Mississippi and wouldn't be home until about 9pm. It was 5pm. I went for the windows-all locked. Tried the back door again-locked. I guess I figured since the back door magically locked itself, it would magically unlock itself? I have no idea.

Tyler thought this whole scenario was hilarious and was laughing uncontrollable the entire time as I ran from door to window to gate furiously trying to open one of them. The only option I had left was to either yell for my neighbors and HOPE they heard me or break into the house. My neighbors don't have keys to the doors or the gates. There are three people who have keys besides myself. One person is in NYC for the week, one is in Mississippi and the other is in Atlanta for the week. I'm sure the police or fire department could break into the house but they'll cause the most damage and it being New Year's it was highly unlikely the doors or locks would be replaced before Tuesday. So, either I break into the house and attempt to cause as little damage as possible or I scream bloody murder, hope someone hears me, helps me, and watch while someone busts my door down.

I tried the windows again and found one of the windows a fraction of an inch further from the siding than the other windows. I pulled the screen off and was able to jimmy my pinky into the gap making it bigger. I pushed and pulled on that window for about 20 minutes, finally it popped out of the casing just enough so I could strip the weather gard and pry it out of the jam. Our windows are really high on the house, they start at my chest and I'm short, so there was no way I could jump into the house with Tyler. I was not a fan of laying him on the ground with my hyper dog running around, but I had no option. I laid him as close to the house as I could, jumped through the window, ran through the house, flew open the door and scooped up my precious baby. He was fine.

I was able to pop the window back into place and gerryrig the lock, although we have a nice draft coming from where I stripped the weather strip. After the whole ordeal I wasn't sure if I should be thankful that whoever installed that window did a lousy job or upset that if I can break into my house anyone can. I called Ryan, turns out the job in MS took longer than he expected and wouldn't be home till about 11pm. If I wasn't able to get through that window I don't know what we would have done. I would have had to break the window glass I guess.

Our outside lights weren't even on! We would have been trapped back there, no food, nothing other than the clothes on our backs in the pitch black. I want to kick myself for not being more cautious. One things for sure, that won't happen again!

Monday, December 19, 2011

Merry Christmas!

We will be out of town for Christmas and I won't be bringing my laptop with me, so Merry Christmas early from Steph, Ryan and Tyler!


Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Flying Babies

We are flying to my parents for Christmas. The drive to TN for Thanksgiving was rough, not because Tyler was difficult, Tyler was an angel, but because Ryan and I both worked a full day and were exhausted. The drive back was even worse, we sat in traffic for three extra hours due to multiple accidents and didn't even get home until 2am. Do we want a repeat of that, no thank you, so we're flying.

I'm a nervous wreck about this. I've never flown with a kid before, let alone tried bringing a ton of crap through security including milk and food. I've done my research, talked to people who have flown with kids and even contacted TSA just to make sure I know what to expect and have all my ducks in a row. The LAST thing I want to do is have them tell me we can't fly, we miss our flight or end up having to leave something we need behind. I'm nervous about security, but I have my head around it. The actual flying however makes me want to twitch.

Have you ever been on a flight with a baby? More than likely the baby starts screaming when the air pressure changes in the cabin. The kid doesn't realize that his head isn't going to explode and starts screaming because he's uncomfortable. Babies can't talk, it's their only form of communication. Never, not in all my flying have I ever seen anyone be nice and understanding with the parents of the screaming kid. They get dirty looks, they're avoided, I've heard them be cussed out. Is the screaming kid annoying? Yes. Is it the parents fault? No. It's not the babies fault. The baby doesn't understand, he's too little. I remember being on one flight and some dude reamed a mom out. Her baby was crying, and she was doing everything she could to calm him down, nothing was working. Homeslice over there told her that if she was half a decent mother she would be able to control her kid. This dude obviously knew crap about babies, kids, or women. I felt terrible for her. The rest of the flight she tried consoling her baby with tears streaming down her face.

I don't want Tyler disturbing everyone on the plane. I don't want dirty looks from everyone. I don't want to be cussed out or told I'm a crappy mom. I don't care if these people know me, know my kid, know how I parent or not, I don't want any of that to happen. Who would? So for that I'm nervous.

This brings me to my main point. Why are people so intolerant of babies on planes? Their BABIES, they can't help it, they don't know any better. Adults however, do. We're not tolerant of the crying baby who doesn't understand what's going on, but we're tolerant of the lady crowding our paid for seat with her kitting bag. We're tolerant of the dude who's stomach and legs spill over on to our laps. We're tolerant of the lady who wants to talk our ear off the entire flight, and the dude who wants to whine about his divorce, and the guy who watches porn on his laptop the whole flight, and the girl who's Lady Gaga music is so loud you can hear it through her earphones. We're tolerant of the dude in the seat behind us who keeps kicking our seat, but we're not tolerant of the crying baby. Why are we not tolerant of the baby? Because the crying baby is annoying and it bothers us. Dude's stomach, knitting needle lady, porno man and tall seat kicker guy are also annoying, but we don't give them dirty looks or tell them their crappy for being large, knitting or too tall. We tolerate it. We think, "Oh great, dude's stomach is in my face, oh well, it's not like he has anywhere else to go." Or, "Of course, I would get the seat in front of Lurch, oh well, he can't help he's tall." Yet the minute a baby screams you hear, groans, sighs, see eye rolling and dirty looks in the kid's direction.

Well, I'm sorry you're inconvenienced, but it's a flight, not forever and you can deal with it. Chances are someones just as annoyed with you as you are with the crying baby and they're being polite and keeping their mouth shut and glares to themselves. Every flight I've ever been on that had a screaming baby I didn't give them dirty looks or said anything rude, the problem is, I didn't say anything at all and perhaps I should have. Perhaps I should have told the rude guy that told that mom she was crappy that I thought he was crappy that he obviously hadn't brushed his teeth in 10 years and I had to sit next to him the entire 2-hour flight. Perhaps I should have defended those parents who were given hell for trying to get to their family on the other side of the country, those parents who couldn't find a job near family and had to settle for a job many many hours away. Those parents who were just trying to get their baby home so that he could meet his grandparents.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Sending Smiles

I'm sure you're all tired of the whole, "I'm super busy" comments, so I'll spare you and send some holiday smiles your way...





Thursday, December 1, 2011

What Do You Mean I Have To Pay To See Santa?

Remember when we were kids, we used to see Santa at the mall? You might wait in line a bit, but you would get up there, sit on Santa's lap, tell him you wanted the hottest new toy (for me it was the Star Stage), your mom or dad would take your picture, then off you went. I don't ever remember my mom forking over money. Ever. I do remember a professional photographer standing by waiting to take snapshots of the little ones for any parents who wanted professional photos. That, of course, was for "fancy" people. I don't think many people utilized that service. Our 35mm disposable Kodak sufficed just fine.

I was in the mall weeks ago getting my hair "did", and saw Santa's throne in the middle of the mall. I thought to myself, "Oh good, Santa's here, we can get Tyler's picture with him." As I walked past the winter wonderland I about-faced at the sign in front of Santa's area. $20 per kid just to see Santa, if you wanted a picture it was another $20, AND no personal picture taking allowed. Since when was a fee slapped on Santa? Seriously, visiting Santa has even become a Christmas money-making scheme? I guess no one wants to volunteer for this bit anymore, even the Santa's want to be paid. I thought surely it must just be this mall. Nope, it's most malls. Some may not charge a "sitting fee", but if you want a picture, you pay, none allowed you to take your own photo's.

Bass Pro Shop was the only place that I could find that did free Santa visits and pictures. That's their advertising too. "Free Santa visits!" How sad. Kids having to pay to see the big guy. What the hell. Needless to say, we went to Bass Pro. We were in Nashville visiting family for Thanksgiving, so we went to the Bass Pro up there. It was wonderful. The girls were dressed as elves, all were SUPER nice. Ahead of us in line, one of the little boys was scared and one of the elf girls was so great! Not only was she able to calm him down, while his mom tended to his infant sister, but as he walked away he was smiling and laughing! We had Tyler, Kael and Gabriel and they were so patient with us. Not only did they allow us to take as many of our own pictures as we wanted with each individual baby and as a group, but they took a professional one of their own of each kid and gave them to us for free. We waited about five minutes in line, and Santa looked crazy authentic. No fake beard or cheap costume. After seeing him, I wanted to tell him what I wanted for Christmas, surely this dude is the real deal! We had the best experience there. I totally recommend Bass Pro for seeing Santa, and if you're anywhere near Nashville, THAT Santa is totally worth going to see. He was awesome.

Tyler did great seeing Santa. He's not too patient with people he doesn't know holding him, but he was completely mezmerized by him. He kept feeling his beard, it was too cute!