Thursday, February 2, 2012

So There I Was Minding My Own Business and In Walks February...

Dude. What the hell. Why is it February already? I'm fairly certain that when you have kids your life automatically gets put on fast forward. Tyler's been a little needy lately. When I pick him up from daycare he wants Mommy. Not just near him but he wants Mommy RIGHT THERE, holding him, sitting next to him, ect. This is totally fine, except that I need to get crap ready for tomorrow, make dinner, wash bottles, make baby food, be the door monitor for the other needy being in my life-the dog, the list goes on. Ryan got home late last night and found me running around the house like a crazy person. When he asked me what I was doing I answered, "Making baby food, eating dinner, watching an episode of Lost, letting the dog in, letting the dog out, pulling documents for the CPA for our taxes, filing papers on my IRA, paying bills and washing dishes." I am a multi-tasking super woman. It then dawned on me that THIS is why I think the time goes by so fast. I do in one evening what a normal person does all week. I'm a working mom and this is my life. Ya know, I'm ok with that. Well, I wouldn't mind some more help around the house or a few extra hours in the day, but I would rather be busy than bored. I do much better having multiple things on my plate, multiple projects flung over my sewing machine, multiple duties to accomplish at work.

I remember back in my early to mid-twenties I wished I was one of those care free fly with the wind types. Ya know, they live for the moment and don't plan anything, they have the coolest stories, and work at the coolest places. I was never this person. I panicked when I accidentally left my planner home, and THAT was in high school. I've had a retirement account since I was 21, and a will with funeral instructions since I was 25. I organize my grocery list according to the isles of the grocery store I go to and then by alphabet. My coupons are also organized the same way. I can only use large silver paperclips. The edges of my tape are folded in so the edge doesn't stick to the roll, and my workspace at home and at work MUST be organized in a certain and similar fashion. I'm high strung and OCD. I've tried living a "free-er" lifestyle but I'm just not programmed that way. I like to go and do. I can't just sit around and relax. I need to do, I need to go.

I've learned that I am what I am. Some things should be adjusted, everyone has something to work on, but I've learned to accept me for me. And I'm going to accept me for me again. I'm a working mom. Time is always against me. I put my son first and when he goes to bed I run around the house like a bat out of hell prepping for tomorrow and cleaning up from today. I've been reading the same book for about a year, and I've had the same sewing project on my machine for the past month. Every night my husband finds me asleep with all the lights on in the bedroom, Nook in hand a fresh unplayed game of solitaire on the screen. I wake up to a precious angel calling out, "Mama! Mama!" Even with my lack of time, I wouldn't change much. Maybe a vacation to Hawaii every now and then...

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